“He has a pleasant personality, he is a good communicator, has influence, he is charismatic, is focused and result oriented.” The team responded. This was in reference to a curtain raiser on a discussion on life skills. I had requested the team members to pick a public figure that they admire. They were then to pick certain adjectives that describe the person and why they admire the person. The team members came up with similar words. Most of the words given were aspects of social intelligence and other essential skills such as influence, communication and leadership.

“Are we not missing the foundation?” Someone asked. We are putting a lot of emphasis on soft skills and leaving out the foundation; the foundation is character.” That took me aback. He actually had a valid point. Every time I talk to parents they want their children to develop social skills and other life skills. None tell me about building good character. Looking at it from that angle, life skills without good character can lead to destruction of self and others.

This reminded me of one of my favorite FBI real crime documentaries; The Billionaire Boys Club (BBC). You have probably come across the movie or the novel. Allow me to give a sneak peek preview of the same;

“Joseph Henry (Gamsky) was a student at the exclusive Harvard School in Los Angeles (then all-boys, now it’s the co-ed Harvard Westlake). He was ambitious and charismatic—and also on scholarship, meaning he didn’t have the deep-pocketed parents that so many of his classmates had. Joseph was always out to prove himself better and smarter than the rich kids,” remembered one classmate. “And he was.”

Christening himself Joe Hunt he formed an investment club with some of his former classmates, using his bravado and promises of quick, big returns to get them to put up the capital for what eventually became known as the Billionaire Boys Club.

Handsome and charismatic with a boyish charm, Hunt led the Billionaire Boys Club, a social and investment fraternity. Hunt “almost seemed like everybody’s savior, He had this quality about him. He just struck everybody who got to know him as the person you wanted to be with, who could help you achieve your goals, whether they were financial or personal. Whatever it was, Joe was like this rock.”

Club members clad in Armani suits and drove high-end BMWs, dined at Spago and partied with supermodels. The exclusive club, however, was a giant, high-stakes investment scam. The whole scheme unraveled when investor Ron Levin vanished after allegedly conning the club. His body would never be found, but a Jury convicted Hunt of murdering Levin. Hunt was also convicted of murder of a father to one of the BBCs investor.”

Joe Hunt had it all in social skills; the influence and charisma. It however landed him in prison on a life sentence. “Knowledge will give you power but good character will give you respect and in the words of Mickey Kaus an ignorant person with bad character is like an unarmed robber but a learned person with bad character is a fully armed robber.

As the training participant mentioned if we build life skills with no character we are fueling destruction. Luckily character is a learnt behavior that we can intentionally build on ourselves and our children. It’s a set of morals and beliefs that define how we treat ourselves and others. It is who we actually are. It is our level of honesty, integrity, authenticity, personal responsibility, fairness, tolerance, respect, positive attitude, trust, patience….

Social skills can easily attract people, it’s a social façade and a mask that we can easily wear and present to others. They are on the exterior, they easily pull others and can easily lead others astray. Character is however internal has greater meaning and significance. That explains why relationships begin on the attraction of personality and outward beauty but are torn down by lack of character.

Good character serves us in many ways;

  1. Achieve peace of mind. People with character sleep well at night. They take great pride in knowing that their intentions and actions are honorable. People with character also stay
    true to their beliefs, do right by others, and always take the high ground.
  2. Strengthen trust. People with character enjoy meaningful relationships based on openness, honesty, and mutual respect. When you have good moral character, people know that your behavior is reliable, your heart is in the right place, and your word is good as gold.
  3. Reduce anxiety. People with character carry less baggage. They are comfortable within their own skin, and they accept responsibility for their actions. They never have to play games, waste precious time keeping their stories straight, or invent excuses to cover their back.
  4. Build confidence. People with character don’t worry about embarrassment if their actions are publicly disclosed. This alleviates the need for damage control or the fear of potential disgrace as a result of indiscretions.
  5. Become a positive role model. People with character set the standard for excellence. They live their life as an open book, teaching others important life lessons through their words and their deeds.

Character is what you are when no one is looking and the truth of your character is expressed through the choice of your actions especially when you are under pressure or on your worst days.”

2 thoughts on “Why Character Matters”

  1. Shadrack says:

    Very educative and inspiring bg tym.

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