When we think about relationships we mostly think about what the other person is bringing on the table. When relationships go sour we easily blame the other person and the role they played in it. We blame our parents and guardians because they did not spend time with us, we blame our partners and spouses because they were not committed to the relationship, we blame our parents for favoring our siblings, we blame our children for abandoning us or not being close to us, we blame our coworkers and bosses for giving approval to that colleague who is not hard working and blame our friends for not being there for us.

It takes a lot of self-analysis and scenario analysis for one to realize that they also have a role to play in each relationship. Relationships start with the individual. If you have a healthy relationship with yourself, you are likely to have a healthy relationship with other people. To have a healthy relationship with yourself you need to know yourself; Who are you? Can you confidently and objectively answer below questions;

• What are your strengths?

Defining your strengths means that you know what you have to offer in a relationship.

• What are your weaknesses?

If you can acknowledge your weaknesses then you can find a way to improve. Remember we are all work in progress.

• What makes you happy?

What makes you happy defines your expectations in every relationship; whether in a family, office or with friends.

• What irritates you?

This makes you aware of what triggers your moods & emotions and helps you to keep yourself on check.

• What are your core values or guiding principles?

This defines your deal breakers. They define your boundaries in every relationship and clarifies who you associate with to have a healthy relationship.

This means that any successful relationship is based on social intelligence. Social intelligence involves self-mastery and people skill.

1. Self-mastery – includes;

• Self-awareness – Recognizing and understanding your moods, thoughts, emotions and observing when a situation triggers you.
• Self-regulation – To think before acting.

2. People Skill – Includes;

• Empathy – Understanding other peoples emotional make up; their feelings, needs and concerns
• Social Skill – Finding common ground with others and fostering networks.

As you seek to enhance connections  start with mastering yourself and developing people skills that will keep people connected to you.