How does your 3Am look like? Christians say God wants to speak to you at that hour, Muslims say that at that hour the portal of heaven is open. Apart from the religious perspectives we also know that 3Am is the hour of writers, painters, poets, musicians, silence seekers, over thinkers and creative people. The people who have their note pads by the bed side or under the pillow. I love 3am. It gives you another version of you; vulnerable, real and honest. It is my hour to reflect and give myself genuine feedback. It is also the hour of great thoughts and ideas; they flow effortlessly.

Last night’s 3 am stood out for me though. Something felt very different. It’s like 2021 has a different vibe; positive, bright and happy. Someone told me that we owe our 2021 version to Covid. I tend to totally agree. I seem to have let go a number of things consciously or unconsciously. Covid taught us that plans can be disrupted. It also taught us that unplanned goals can be achieved. The biggest for me though is that anyone can be spontaneous.

If you are my kind of person you believe in meticulous planning. Fortunately, or unfortunately Covid disrupted quite a bit of our planned minds. The most interesting thing is; life did not stop. We adjusted and found a different footing almost instantly. We found a new life. This seem to have unconsciously diffused into my 2021. I feel more relaxed than ever. Though I still have my meticulous plans, I am not feeling the pressure to achieve them in a certain way.

I am open to getting things done in a different pace. I am open to fixing a coffee meeting in my weekly calendar even when it was not earlier planned. I have adopted the philosophy that It will still get done without me overthinking or over planning it. I can finally cruise through life as I work and live. That’s the beauty of losing. We lost control, lost our schedules and lost life the way we knew it.

In a different season that would have been a disaster. If someone had told me to let go and let life be I would have thought they have lost their mind. Thanks to Covid I didn’t have a choice. I now know that it’s okay to lose some things. I also know that losing is not as disastrous as we think. If we think through what we lose, we can pick something new consciously or unconsciously.

We fear losing control, losing people, losing status, losing friends, losing our possessions. We think life would be disastrous without them. You might however be amazed at how much learning and positive change comes out of that loss. Every once in a while I look back at things/people I lost or let go. Every time I analyze I realize that each of such a situation set me up for something bigger or higher. It could be something tangible or a mind shift. It sets you up to be a better version of yourself. This will however only happen if you let it. If you hang on to your old version, you will keep going back there irrespective of the lessons and opportunities nature grants.

Appreciating the positives that come with loss helps you master the art of losing. It also helps you learn how to live. It helps you know that everything and everyone is a guest in your story and so you should make each chapter worth reading. Enjoy every moment and every situation without hesitation but also without attachment. In the words of Neil Gaima, “Nobody gets through life without losing a few things.” Whether you lose them intentionally or unintentionally. However loss does not have to be a disaster.

In the words of Elizabeth Bishop,

The art of losing isn’t hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother’s watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn’t a disaster.

—Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan’t have lied. It’s evident
the art of losing’s not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

                                                   Elizabeth Bishop – 1911-1979: One Art