Am back! I know you are wondering, “where is she back from?” …Just trying to read your thoughts… But yeah am back from my one month’s break. In the world of too much connection and information overload, the soul is likely to get tired. So “Go ahead and unplug, spend time with nature, let your thoughts wander. Be with yourself. In the quiet you will better hear the whispers of your soul.”

September was another great month. It was however great to me in a peculiar way. I would describe it in what we call ‘mixed feelings.’ Let me start by applauding the good. We seem to have totally embedded the covid culture. I am actually tempted to say we are in post covid era already. We are all in normal work mode irrespective of where we are dispensing our duties from. On that note, I want to acknowledge my partners in absentia; our power and internet supplier (KPLC & Safaricom.) They have not disappointed lately. I can now confidently run full day virtual trainings from my ‘home office.’ This is partly why September was great.

However, September also tested me to the core; not because I was mostly offline, that’s the easy part. I was actually tempted to keep unplugging but then I remembered online personal branding is still as important. Writing is also part of me and it requires that I share what I write… As a coach you know you have been tested when you have to apply your coaching tools and techniques on yourself.

On different occasions I felt a bit ‘off’. You know that feeling like something is not okay but you cannot put a finger on it… So I decided to practice what I teach; do an emotional/feelings audit. This involves getting the right name for what you are feeling and analyzing to find out the source or cause of that feeling. On face value this seems easy. I have however realized that in many occasions people blame the easy things; work, other people or finances. Just because you were betrayed does not mean every bad feeling is related to that person. Just because you do not like your job does not mean every low moment is caused by your work. Just because you have financial burdens does not mean all your low moments are caused by finances.

I tracked my ‘off’ feelings moments for two weeks and finally picked a trend. The feeling name was anxiety and it happened on the days I was scheduled to engage in a specific activity. Emotions are like data, if objectively interpreted they can guide you to the right solutions. Next time you feel off, do not just blame something/someone or brush it off; audit it. Have the courage to feel all your emotions without guilt or attachment then address the real issue. Are you having a low moment out of a real situation, memory or imagined situations? Feel the emotion, acknowledge it then think and act accordingly.

My September anxiety inducing activity is my third last goal on my covid bucket list. I find it peculiar because I did not have that struggle with the other goals. I have always considered myself to be a good student. My teachers and mentors can attest to that. I only need basic guidance. I will then research, learn and implement with little support. This activity however proved to be different. Googling was not going to help and trial and error was not an option. I needed to physically learn from someone else and continuously take instructions. This is not my kind of learning or working. It also involved facing one of my biggest fears. Going by the audit and this analysis, I had all the reasons to feel anxious.

What amazed me though is that I never quit. I was not going to add anything to my resume or earn materially by learning this new skill. I never stepped out of the house with excitement as I headed there. On the contrally, I drove amid anxiety. I would then take a moment at the parking to practice my deep breathing coaching techniques. I may not have always showed up on time, but I always showed up. I have quit from materially rewarding activities just because they were continuously taking away my peace. Why did I hang on to this one?

My usual interest in human behavior got me thinking. The answer came down to two things; human needs and human values. In a concept borrowed from the American great speaker and author, Tony Robbins “Every action we take or fail to take is motivated by trying to meet some fundamental human needs.” These needs are stated as Certainty, Variety, Significance, Connection, Growth and Contribution. We all have these needs but our order of priority differs. These needs can also be met positively or negatively, consciously or unconsciously.

I was also intrigued by the words of my new found human behavioral specialist, Dr. John Demartini, “Nobody is committed to you; people are committed to the fulfillment of their highest values. They are only committed as long as they are fulfilling their values – they think they can get more advantage by being with you than being with other people.”

This month and courtesy of inspiration from the two great speakers and authors, I will be exploring human behavior in reference to human needs and human values. Look out for the Friday articles for great insights.