“I know you had nothing to go back to but is there someone that you would go back to.” He asked. I had never thought of it that way. That took me aback. However, every catch up with a friend gives me something to think about or should I say something to write about. A friend took me down memory lane last week. It was a moment to think through my former workplaces. He was right, there was nothing to go back to. I however cannot say the same on the second part of the question. There are people who make a mark and given a chance in a different environment you would want to work with them. They influenced us significantly. We would want to have another day under their counsel. They are however not many. In my case I could only count two. Only two, in a whole decade. I looked up to them in many ways. They were my silent mentors.

This left me wondering, did I make such an impact on anyone in that decade? would anyone want to sit under my counsel again? Luckily that question did not take long to answer. It’s like someone read my thoughts. A day letter I received one of those lovely random messages. It read, “Thank you very much, I will always remember you for all this………..” The message was followed by a list of six items. This message comes four years from the last time I worked with the person. A few hours later I received a call. This time from someone I worked with three years ago. Most of these calls happen when one is looking for a recommendation. This one was however different. The person just wanted to say thank you. They both referred to me as their mentor yet we never had a formal mentorship relationship.

What I find interesting is the similarities in these scenarios. There is a lot in common between why I remember the two people and why the two people remember me. Bottom line is; I learnt a lot from them, they led by example, they inspired me to be a better person in all aspects of life. By all means they were great leaders, not because of their position but because of who they were. In the words of John Quincy Adams, “If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”

They were not just pushing for results. They were intentional about who they were and what they wanted their followers to become. As they say, a good example has twice the value of good advice. This reminded of a leadership story in a monastery;

“There is a legend that is told of a French Monastery known throughout Europe for the exceptional leadership of a man known only as Brother Leo. Several monks took a pilgrimage to visit this extraordinary leader to learn from him. Starting out on the pilgrimage they almost immediately begin to argue over who should do certain chores.

On the third day of their journey they met another monk also going to the monastery; he joined them. This monk never bickered about doing chores and did them dutifully. And when the others would fight about which chores to do, he would simply volunteer to do them himself. On the last day of their journey, others began to follow his example and the bickering stopped.

When the monks reached the monastery they asked to see Brother Leo. The man who greeted them laughed. “But our brother is among you!” And he pointed to the fellow that had joined them.

Many seek positions in leadership to serve their own interests and not that of others. There are many self-serving reasons why a person may want to lead such as power, status, networking and money. But the best leaders lead because they care about people. And those are the types of leaders that lead like Brother Leo. They teach through their actions, not by words alone. They are servants, not commanders.”

I do not remember the two people because of the numbers they pushed. I would not care much about their Job achievements. I remember them for who they were as individuals and who they were to me. As one of my “mentors” listed, we remember them because they;

• Provided us a safe place to grow.
• Opened career doors
• Defended us when we needed it
• Recognized and rewarded us
• Developed us as leaders
• Inspired us to stretch higher
• Led by example
• Told us our work mattered
• Forgave us when we made mistakes.

That list has everything to do with caring about others and nothing to do with revenue, profits or cost. As someone said they are not order ‘barkers’ but order helpers. They earn trust, loyalty and respect. We spend time and money on courses about leadership and management. We spend hours in meetings complaining and brainstorming about staff and culture. We even go for benchmarking like the monks did. We however forget the basic definition of leadership, Influence; Moving others into action without coercion.

The first law of leadership is character. It begins with the inner person. The character of the leader filters into the entire organization. Great character creates potential for a great organization. It all begins with the leader’s heart because character is how you treat those who can do nothing for you.

“What you do has far greater impact than what you say; Earn your leadership every day.”

Photo by Suraphat Nuea-on from Pexels