As we celebrate motherhood two questions constantly cross a working mum’s mind; Am I doing it right or am I doing enough? Every mother either wishes she could choose between career and motherhood while some wish they could strike a balance between the two. There is no one right answer on how to do career and motherhood; on how to have it all. But you can do both and do them well.

How you do it depends on your unique factors: what you want, your situation, your home life and the kind of job that you have. There are no universal fix it all. However below are a few pointers to enable you find a balance between motherhood and career;

1. Stop comparing yourself to other moms

Do not compare your schedule to other mums; their job, role and goals are different from yours. Ask what matters most to your child and spend your energy there. Ask your kids how they feel and let that be your compass. Rather than define success by external standards, look at your family. How are they doing? If they are happy and well adjusted, don’t get caught up in what you are supposed to do.

2. Get Quality Childcare

Nothing will keep you distracted throughout your day like worrying about your kids’ safety, and comfort. Ensure the person you leave your child with is trustworthy. Check all the important boxes in your criteria list. While interviewing caregivers, whether nannies or daycare agencies, ask for references and conduct a rigorous background check. If possible, arrange for a play date during the interview and watch the interactions of the intended caregiver with your child or children. A good nanny should have excellent recommendations and extensive experience; while a good daycare agency should have employees with experience and a good recommendation, enough outdoor space, a low attendee-to child ratio and flexible hours.

3. Ease the Mornings

Whether you have school-going kids or not, get in the habit of organizing what you need the night before. Pick out the clothes you will wear, pack the kids’ bags, diaper bag and lunches and ensure everyone knows where everything they will need in the morning is. You can also plan for days ahead, depending on your schedule and leave some room for any unexpected eventuality. This will help you avoid getting frazzled and confused in the morning.

4. Teach Everyone to Be Organized;

Children respond well to schedules and routines. Create family schedules that encompass work, school and home activities so that everyone has a view of what is expected of them each day. This can be in a visual format like a board or a physical calendar placed strategically with columns for each member of the family and days. You can then take a few minutes over the weekend to review accomplishments of the previous week and plan out the coming week. This not only keeps you organized and in control, it trains your children on the importance of planning and discipline as well.

• Treat important family events like client meetings – Mark them and plan in advance.

5. Have an Understanding with Your Employer

Even the best-laid plans don’t always pan out. Keeping your employer close helps. Before talking to your employer, do a little bit of research on what you are entitled by the law and also on the company policies. Also, maintaining a good relationship with your boss may prove useful when you need flexibility in your schedule.

6. Stay Connected throughout the Day

You obviously have a desire to stay connected with your children even when you are away from them. In this age of technology and gadgets, it is easy to quickly check up on things at home from the office. You can make calls during your breaks. You can also have nanny cameras installed stealthily around your home so you are always aware of what is happening at home. You can also record yourself singing or telling a story on baby’s tablet so they can listen to your voice when you are away.

7. Take Care of Yourself

It is easy to get lost in between your role at home and at work and you realize you barely have time to catch your breath. You need to understand your value to your family and work; and the need for you to take care of yourself. Create time within your schedule where you take time away from both work and home duties and do something relaxing. This will leave you rejuvenated and ready to take on your roles with ease.

8. Find the right partners.

Careers and parenting take partnerships. Consider the mindset of your partner upfront. Look at both calendar and plan who will participate in which children activity and when. Note where there are gaps and seek help from friends and family. As a single parent you can get help from family and friends too.

9. Get out of a situation that doesn’t fit your definition of success.

Don’t set yourself up for failure. Recognize when your work situation will never line up with your goals. Change departments, schedule, roles, employers or careers if you have to.

10. Ask for what you need.

Share your expectations with people who matter. Your partner, family, friends, employer, colleagues. Share the role you want, the schedule you want, the career you want. No one can read your mind. You will need their support in achieving your motherhood and career goals.

11. Say No more often.

Set boundaries. Make No your best friend and become a champion at prioritizing. Time is your most important resource. And saying yes to one thing always means saying no to something else. You do not have to attend to every friends or family event. Decide what matters to you and stick to it with no guilt.

“Motherhood is a choice you make every day: To put someone else’s happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you are not sure what the right thing is and forgive yourself over and over again for doing everything wrong.” Donna Ball

Image; Pexel.com